When it’s over – it’s over! But overcoming emotional pain from a break up in a relationship is a difficult thing to deal with, for both you and your ex.
After a break up there follows a natural period of hurt feelings and emotions, and a great deal of personal strength is required to survive.
Emotional pain is one of the worst kinds, and that sick, aching feeling in the chest, and pit of your stomach can feel like it’s never, ever going to subside.
It will leave you eventually.
It’s part of the healing process, something you will have to endure, but thank goodness, there are shortcuts to overcoming emotional pain. You are not the first couple to suffer a relationship break up and you will not be the last. You should take solace in the fact that you and your partner will survive, and that you’ll both soon be moving forward.
This may seem like a daunting task, especially with the pain you’re feeling now. There is a huge void in your life which cannot be easily filled. I write from experience, having survived divorce from a 32 year marriage. I know first hand what emotional pain is, and how it feels.
I lived with it for a full year before I decided enough was enough!
When you are faced with the trauma of trying to get over a break up, there are a number of things you can do to speed up the process :
1) BREAK ALL CONTACT! Do not have any contact with your ex at this time. In all probability you are both very emotional, and in this state it is so easy to say or do things that you will later regret. It is much better to have no contact at all, than finding yourself in situations that throw up confrontation, which inevitably leads to more hostility and bitterness.
2) HAVE A CLEAROUT! Remove all reminders of your ex from the house, clothes, photographs, CDs and all other personal belongings. Don’t stop at the house, clear your phone and your emails so that there is nothing you can see anywhere to remind you of your ex. This is a positive statement of letting go, and ensuring there are no emotional landmines to negotiate.
3) SPEAK TO SOMEONE! Don’t bottle up the pain. Breaking up with a loved one is emotionally the same as the death of one. Speak to a friend, someone who is a good listener, someone you can trust when you speak in confidence. They will understand that you are hurting, and that it’s OK to break down a little and cry as needed, and they will support you.
4) ACCEPT, AND MOVE ON! Now it’s time to start thinking about YOU, not your ex. Socialise, get out with friends. The worse thing you can do right now is spend too much time on your own, with nothing but your thoughts for company. Do little things that cheer you up, get yourself a new hairdo, buy a new outfit, concentrate on a hobby, or channel your energy into doing something you always wanted to do, but never did.
At this point, you should use whatever support is available to you. This can be friends, family, and other loved ones that can provide an emotional support net for you. Even though you have done what you can to soften the blow of the break up, you will still face turbulence. As a result you will need all of the help you can get to survive the emotional pain.
This advice is intended to help in overcoming emotional pain when you are resigned to the fact that the relationship is over. However, if you still hold the slightest belief that the relationship might be retrieved, check out The Magic of Making Up for tips on how to get your ex back, with confidence and dignity, and how to play it cool for a positive outcome.